presentless

listening to: Sting & the Police EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE
mood: aggressive

Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break, every step you take
I'll be watching you

Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play, every night you stay
I'll be watching you

...every step you take
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake
I'll be watching you

There is no present. Just the past and the future surrounding a concept - the concept of present. Why a concept? Because the present state is merely what keeps past and future together, it's the moment that you're stuck in for a lifetime, yet rarely realizing it's presence.

I'm in front of my keyboard, trying to make sense, trying to arrange the millions of impulses that cross my brain into something logical... The next keys that I'll press are the SHIFT and T keys, so that I can write the capital "t" in "the next keys that I'll press"... funny, isn't it. I pressed those keys some seconds ago... That present now belongs to the past!

There is no present!

Why all this? Well... some of the things that happend in the recent past shook me a little of my feet. My first intention was to just waste all that it was... to hide everything... But again, I'd rather keep those bitter memories close. This way they'll pop in my mind everytime I have to make a somehow similar decision, and they will eventually become a guide that will keep me from doing the same old mistakes over and over again.

I have my regrets... maybe to many but I am alive, I can feel, I can hurt and I can get hurt. I'm human and therefore I'm prone to failure, to mistakes and to wrong-doing. But I can and will react everytime something poses a threat.
I guess, my deamons have to stay! They have to stay because they are ment to spit fire at me everytime I cross their path. This is life after all, and I'll have to fight my deamons, every last one of them until it's all over.